Corrupt a Wish

Granted, it's broken.

I wish weekends were longer

Granted, you work every weekend at a long boring job.

I wish I wasn't lactose intolerant.

granted but now you're allergic to bananas

I wish finals were over

Granted, but you did poorly on all of them.

I wish I had better self-control.

Granted: But now you have uncontrollable gas.

I wish I was a power ranger.

Granted, but you can only talk in bad dubbing.

I wish I was less tired.

Granted, next time you sleep, you fall into a coma for a month.

I wish my allergies would go away.

Granted now you have an awful cold and your nose is stopped up from congestion rather than allergies.
I wish I had some yummy, non-poisoned fried chicken.

Granted, but you choke on it and cough it up.
I wish school was over.

Granted, but you fail a class and have to go to summer school

I wish my dad had have married a nice woman

Granted, but you're treated like Cinderella.
I wish I could actually finish a story I start

Granted, but as soon as you do it mysteriously vanishes and you never see it again

I wish that I had a doughnut

Granted, but it came from the floor.
I wish I had plans for this week.

Granted, but they're boring plans and you're better off staying home.
I wish I had done my English homework.

Granted, but it earns you an F anyways.
I wish my friends would include me _-_

Granted, they include you in a robbery and you're the only one that gets arrested.
I wish there were more seasons of Sherlock

Granted, but they are horribly underfunded and written by a 12 year old.
I wish my favorite author would write faster

Granted, but the output is so crappy that the publisher drops them and they're never published again.

I wish I had more money.

Granted. But you later find out its fake

I wish i had a genie

Granted, but it's a devious genie who corrupts all of your wishes. Also it runs on spare change so you have to give it quarters every five minutes to keep it alive.

I wish that I had more candy.

Granted, but there full of cyanide.

I wish I wish I had a fish!

Granted. But it's frozen.

I wish spring break was longer:c

Granted, but you have a massive project due when you go back.

I wish i could just skip through the rest of high school.

Granted, but now you don't even have a GED.

I wish for something to drink.

Granted, but it's disgusting.

I wish it were Saturday again.