Corrupt a Wish

Granted but now you don't feel anything.

I wish that school wasn't so lame.

Granted but it is all so good you will never stop watching it even to eat or sleep.

I wish my laptop wasn't about to go flat.

Granted: However, now your computer is too round for you to use it without it falling off a cliff.

I wish I had a Whiskey.

Granted. Unfortunately the whisky was throne at you in a Molotov, you now suffer from third degree burns.

I wish people would stop slaughtering my minions and stealing my treasure.

Granted, however you are now wanted by everyone in Ireland for alcohol abuse. One of your minions ratted you out for a few pints o' Ale.

I wish no one would commit alcohol abuse, Is it really that hard to finish your bottle without breaking it?

Granted. Unfortunately to ensure it alcohol has been locked away for ever to ensure its’ safety.

I wish my minions didn’t betray me… torturing them doesn’t seem to work anymore.

Granted: but now you have no more minions because you over-tortured the ones that didn't leave you

I wish I had some alcohol again . . . I'm thirsty

Granted but it was locked away for so long it went sour and disgusting.

I wish I knew what PJ was on about. ((No like really.))

GRANTED! Unfortunately we misinterpreted your wish and extinguished the sun… so… say good bye to existence.

I wish role-plays would pick up some…

Granted but we will be so busy RPs we stop doing anything else.

I wish I was a morning person.

Granted. But now you are withering away to nothing because it turns out the sweets sustained you

I wish people would stop obsessing with weight. ((I have a friend who is doing it so this is not aimed at you PJ))

Granted: However its a old worn text in Chinese with what appears to be coffee stains everywhere. (Only the title is in English)

I wish I had a new backpack. ((last one broke just yesterday))

Granted. But it is too small to be of use.

I wish I was 6'5" tall instead of just 6'1"...

Granted: However you are now too tall to go to any amusement park, as well as you now have a concussion from hitting your head on the door.

I wish my beard was longer . . .

Granted! Unfortunately it turns out your beard is a parasitic creature which drains you of all your blood.

I wish… Many woes upon all my Foes.

Granted, However because my beard ate them all its still hungry . . . and currently going for your fridge

I wish it was tomorrow

Granted! Unfortunately Tomorrow never comes, which means your wish causes the world to end in a horrific cataclysm of fiery death.

I wish for paladin repellant.

((God now here are two like minds.))

Granted, but there is only a drop in the bottle.

I wish that my cat would stop leaping onto my bed.

Granted, However its in an Encrypted Teacher code that no one understands!

I wish I had another bottle of root beer . . . and that it was a Guiness