EXPLODE THE MOMENT

“Explode the Moment”
concepts:
show vs. tell
scene vs. summary


DIRECTIONS: Read the following paragraph.

I woke up late this morning--as usual. I had no clean clothes and the fridge was next to bare. Traffic was heavy as I sped to work. Some jerk cut me off and I almost had a wreck. At work I went to my desk and there was a note to go and see the boss. I waited outside her office for a while before she called me in. I couldn’t figure out why she wanted to see me. I went inside and sat down. My boss handed me an envelope. She told me that my services were no longer needed and that I was free to go. I got my belongings from my desk and left. The drive home was quick. I am now unemployed.

DIRECTIONS: “Explode” ONE of the sentences above to add life and interest to the action. In other words, use one of the summarizing sentences above to turn the moment into a scene ~ an immediate experience with the character. Be creative! There are no right or wrong responses.

EXAMPLE:
I waited outside her office for a while before she called me in. From the small pleather chair, I gazed to the wall across from me. An inspirational poster hung crookedly: “Determination.” I read the word again and again until the letters were nonsensical, jumbled type beneath a photograph of a plant growing impossibly from the solid rock of Half Dome in Yosemite. My panty-hosed legs bumped with a chill as the air conditioner kicked on, and I wondered about the person who took the photograph. A man? Woman? Perched atop Half Dome in attractive khaki shorts, snapping a picture of a plant doing what it does. Better to turn the camera toward him or herself, I thought, better to show the determination of a person willing to climb Half Dome and take a photograph. There was no credit on the poster.
Her office door was closed but her voice snaked through. “Sandy? Smee … waiting now … evals for shit … ten after? Be there …”
My eyes glued to the lopsided plastic frame, hideously lopsided now that I was really looking at it, I smelled rather than heard the door finally open. Sickly-sweet air freshener wafted toward me and I rose, stopping only to straighten the frame while I walked into the office.