Give me Love or Give me Death (Savvy -Frozen)

The night was cold and clawed at Akira’s pale and scarred flesh. He had to get free. If he had to spend another night or even a day in the ‘refuge’ for his ‘disease’ he would die. He would rather die fighting and running then lying in a bed while the whip rained down. They were after him. He could hear them running through the streets in different directions. He couldn’t run much longer. He didn’t have the stamina to run but he wouldn’t allow himself to give up. A bullet in the back was better than anything else they could do to him.

Akira’s heartbeat roared in his ears and banged against his rips as if threatening to leap right out of his throat and into the chilling air. His breathing came hard and fast and sent puffs of warm air into the night. His throat was burning from the exhaustion and his limbs and muscles ached and begged to stop. He couldn’t stop. He wouldn’t look back and he wouldn’t turn around. The gate was so close. It was just ahead of him.

He dashed for it and pulled at the chain door. His hands were numb and wouldn’t work the lock. Twice the key he had stolen slipped from his fingers. He glanced behind him and saw the shadows moving and the shouts of the soldiers. With new panic he wrenched the door open and slipped through the crack. His bare and bleeding back rubbed up against the chain and he winced but didn’t give up. Within seconds he was free of the cage and running into the streets of the city. They would follow but now he had more of a chance.

His bleach blond hair slapped against his face and often dangled in front of his deep blue eyes. He moved the strands away from his face but they didn’t obey. A gun fired behind him. He tensed but nothing hit him. The gunshot had been far away. He ran faster; his sandals hit the ground hard. After what seemed like forever, he came to a halt. He doubled over and clutched at his stomach. The adrenaline that had been fueling his body had run out and started to use lactic acid. It was sending his muscled into a frenzy of spasms and he collapsed on the freezing and wet street.

He curled up coughing and vomiting from the exhaustion. He was too weak to stand up even though he tried. He tried to slow his heart and kept his mouth shut. He wanted to cry out and moan but he chose silence. He couldn’t hear his pursuers and hoped that he had lost them and no one living nearby would send him back to where he had come from. If they did, he would really be dead.

Shelli rolled over in her bed as the sound of a gunshot woke her up from her already restless sleep. She sighed. What had happened to the world, when a gunshot could be considered a normal sound? But sadly, it was. They rang at all times of the day, and no body ever gave them a second thought. No one even wondered who might have been at the wrong end of that shot. Her eyes squeezed shut as a face flashed through her mind. She forced the though away. She had to keep believing that he was alright. He was strong, she would tell herself. He was smart enough to stay alive in that horrible place. She heard a noise outside, and sat up, worried. It was well past the set curfew. Who would risk being out at night?

She grabbed her robe off of the chair it rested on, and wrapped it around herself as she stumbled through the darkness to her window. Her fingers shook as she unlocked the shutters. She opened them just a crack, and looked around to make sure no soldiers were around. She decided to take the risk, and opened them a bit wider. Her eyes searched the darkness. There. In the street. She leaned out of the window a bit. It looked like a human figure. A chill went up her spine as she recalled the gunshot that had awoken her in the first place. She didn't want to know if this was who it had shot. The body moved though, and she let out a sigh of relief. He - for it seemed to be a man - was shuddering in the street, obviously trying to be silent.

Now she just had to figure out what to do. If she was caught outside at night, she could be arrested or worse. But she couldn't just let someone suffer like that alone. Already regretting it, she snuck out into the night. Her bare feet hardly made a noise as she trotted over to the fallen man. She bent down to her knees to get a better look at him. Her heart jumped into her throat as she recognized the clothes he was wearing. It was the same cheap uniform that they had forced her brother to wear as they lead him away. This man was even more dangerous to her than she had guessed. But if he had escaped somehow, she had to help him. Perhaps he even knew her brother - but no. That would be too much to hope for.

She looked around in a panic as she heard yelling voices coming their way. She put her hand on the man's shoulder, urging him to get up.
"Can you walk?" she whispered. Her eyes scanned the darkness worriedly, but she could make out nothing in the moonless night.

Akira had stayed on the frozen ground and listening to the wind whisper and lick at his spine. He couldn't hear any of the men running after him so he assumed the best. His breathing was beginning to return to his lungs but his body was still exhausted. He couldn't muster the strength needed to stand up and walk towards some sort of shelter for the night. If he stayed out here for too long someone might spot him and call the guards to capture him once more. He absent mindedly traced the circled cross branded on his arm.

As exhausted as he was, he hadn't heard the woman that knelt beside him until she touched him and whispered. He yelped in fright and scurried away from her in a panic. He looked her up and down and was relived to find she was not wearing the guards’ uniform. His relief was short lived. She could turn him in. She didn't say she would offer him shelter or any kind of help. She had seen him and that would be enough for Them when they went door to door looking for him. Most would offer up his location with a gun to their head.

"P-please... Don't say anything. I won't bother you. I promise. Please just let me run away from here," he begged her and hugged his thin frame. He looked around wildly to see if anyone else had arrived or if there were any lights on in the houses. He tried to stand on shaky legs and nearly fell to the ground once more. He cringed and clung to a house breathing heavily. His muscles screamed in protest and he couldn't stop shaking. He was so cold, thirsty, and hungry. There was no way he would outlast death.

Shelli shook her head, and took in this sad person in front of her. Her eyes teared up as she imagined her brother in a similar condition. Did they really care so little for human life? A person was a person, despite their preferences. She moved closer to him, helping him stand. It was ridiculously easy; the man's thin form hardly weighed a thing.

"Be quiet," she said gently. "You're not in any condition to run anywhere." She glanced around self-consciously, making sure that none of her neighbors were watching. "Look, my house is just over there, okay? It's not much, but it's warm. And it should be fairly safe. For the night, at lest."

Her heart beat like a war drum in her chest. What was she doing? If she was caught harboring a fugitive. . . she shuddered. She would just have to be careful, that was all. She had to protect this man, like she was unable to protect her brother. She couldn't make the same mistake again.

Akira flinched when she touched him and closed his eyes panicked. Her touch was warm and soothing. They weren’t rough, harsh or demanding. It already made him feel safe. He couldn't bring himself to fear her and her words about shelter were so lulling like his mother's lullaby. Against his better judgment, he leaned on her and put his life in her open and gentle hands. He had no other option.

Akira gave her a very small smile but a smile none the less. "Thank you..." his whispered to her and clung to her as if she was his life line and in a way, she was. He was freezing and she was so warm. The thought of a hot bath and maybe even a meal brought hope to his eyes and lifted his spirit. Even if she didn't give him food or a warm bath, he would still be out of the cold night.

With her help he took small steps towards her house. To him it was agonizingly slow. He kept looking back over his shoulder expecting to see the guards. He was so close to safety and shelter yet so very far from it. At last they reached the door and he limped inside the warm house. He gave a sigh of relief and collapsed to his knees just inside the door way. His body was protesting every movement he made.

As Akira fell to the ground, Shelli slumped under the added weight. She slipped out from under his shoulder, and hastily shut the door behind them. She couldn't help but sink to the ground beside him in relief. At least no one had noticed. Or at least, she hadn't seen anyone. She looked over her new charge with a growing feeling of pity and worry. She wasn't sure what to do with him. It would be dangerous to keep him here for long. They would probably begin searching houses at first light. She would have to find some way to hide him then.

For now though, she needed to take care of him. She didn't know which should come first; a meal or a bath. She wrinkled her nose as a breeze from the window directed his scent her way. A bath. She could cook while he did that, perhaps. If he had enough energy to stay awake in the water.

She made the suggestion to him, deciding to leave the decision up to him. After all, it was his life. Once they fixed it so that he wasn't passing out on her floor, they would figure out what to do with him. For now, it was more important to make sure he would still be alive to be her problem in the morning.

He looked up at her and listened to her words as if they were law. He hadn't had a choice in anything for years and now that he had the freedom to choose, he didn't know what to do. The bath would be warm. He wouldn't be cold anymore. He grinned and nodded. "A bath sounds really good. Thank you so much. You are a life savor. My God have mercy on you for your kindness to someone who has been damned."

He pulled himself up off the floor and slowly made his way towards the direction he believed the bathroom would be. He shuddered a couple of times and final reached the door. He opened it and slipped into the bathroom. He turned on the hot water and slipped into the water. The water slowly warmed up his body and he gave a sigh of relief as the water dripped. He never wanted to get out of it.

He grabbed the soap and started to scrub the dirt and grim that was on his skin. The more he scrubbed the whiter he became. At last he felt cleansed and plopped down into the tub and let the water rain down on him. Its slow drip began to lull him into sleep and before he knew it, he was slumped against the cool wall and dozing softly under the blanket of warm water. All his worries for the moment seemed no more.

Shelli watched him stumble to the bathroom with a bit of anxiety. Everything about this situation was bad, but she couldn't make herself regret letting him in. For the first time in a long time, she was needed. After a while, she went into the kitchen. She realized that she hadn't asked what kind of food he liked, but she supposed it didn't really mater. He would probably be happy for anything, judging from his scrappy appearance. Besides, she didn't have much of a variety in her fridge.

She shuffled through the frozen products, making a face at what she found. What could she make with a couple of eggs, some milk, whipped cream, and mustard? She grabbed the eggs, and began to fry them. At least it would be nutritious, if not particularly tasty. She hastily washed two plates and cups, and laid them out on the table. She took one sniff of the milk and poured it out in the sink. It looked like they would drink water tonight. She was pleasantly surprised to find a few apples that had somehow avoided the bugs that plagued her home.

She laid out everything on the table, and dragged in an extra chair from the living room. It was clear that she wasn't used to having company. She stood in the doorway of the kitchen with her arms folded across her bosom. Satisfied that she had done all she could, she walked to the bathroom and knocked on the door gently.
"Food's ready," she called. She made sure to keep her voice low, in case any her neighbors were still awake to hear her.

Ryann wandered the cold street aimlessly. Somehow he had managed to loose the guards, but he had lost Akira in the process. In the darkness, he couldn't see the trash can in front of him until he collided with it. It fell to the ground with a loud crash, and Ryann ducked his head, just waiting to be caught. An empty beer bottle flew out of a nearby window, barely missing his head.
"Gi outta m'trash, damn cats," an inebriated voice yelled out into the darkness. Ryann breathed a very small sigh of relief and stood back up. He didn't know how much longer he could walk now, but he couldn't stop. If he let himself quit now, he would just be picked up by the guards in the morning. Somehow, he had to find somewhere safe to hide. The impossibility of that almost made him laugh. Where could a guy like him possibly be safe?

Akira hadn't realized he dozed until he started to feel cold again. He yawned and looked up. Bad idea. The water hit his face and he inhaled some of the drops. He chocked and ducked out of the way. Once he wasn't drowning in the shower, he turned off the water. He rubbed his eyes and looked down at his dripping form. He was clean and his hair was once more the clean strawberry blond it had once been years ago. How many years had he been trapped in the camp anyway? All he knew was that it had been a very long time to be in captivity for nothing.

With a groan he stood and grabbed a towel he dried himself off with. He reached for her brush, but wondered if she would be angry if he used it. He opened his mouth to call to her, but quickly changed his mind. He didn't want to grab anyone's attention to the house and get them both killed. He decided to use the brush anyway and combed his hair straight. It cascaded down his face and he kind of liked the look. He looked a little more like a girl and he always wanted to be one anyway.

He looked around but there were no clothes laid out for him. He pulled the towel up and made sure to cover himself before stepping out of the warm bathroom. He nearly walked into her and yelped. "S-Sorry. Do... do you have any clothes for me?" he whispered. He didn't want to get cold all over again. "It's okay if you don't have men's clothes. I'll wear whatever you have," he stated and cleared his throat again. "And I used your brush. I hope you don't mind."

He felt so out of place here. He wished he had his friend Ryann with him. Ryann. New terror filled his heart. What happened to his friend? They had planned to escape together but the guards had chased them into separate directions. The gun shot. Had he been killed? Taken back? He didn't want to think about it, but it was hard not to worry about him. He wished Ryann was with him...

Shelli was a bit taken aback when Akira walked out of the bathroom clad only in a towel, and nearly ran into her. She took a step back and laughed slightly.
"You startled me," she declared. "It's fine that you used by brush but I," she blushed, "I'm not sure if I have any clean clothes. We can go see, though."

She led him to her bedroom, which didn't contain much more than a bed. When she flung open the door to her closet, she found it was nearly empty, which was what she had expected. She didn't have much money for laundry, so she only did it when she ran completely out of clothes. The only thing that hung in the closet was her frilly blue blouse and a black skirt, which she would wear if she ever went to church again.

She turned to her guest with an embarrassed grimace.
"I have more, but it's all dirty. We can dig through it though, if you want. Most of the things have only been worn once." She made a face as she ran a hand through her dark hair. She didn't embarrass herself further by apologizing again. After all, there was only so much she could.

Ryann finally collapsed under a bridge. He tried to stand up, tried to coax his body into working, but it had nothing left to give. He sighed, and leaned his head against the stone wall. He had no choice but to spend the night here. He couldn't just stay out n the open, though. It was too dangerous. He forced his tired arms to begin digging at the mud beneath him. The frozen ground was hard, and his fingers began bleeding before long. He grimly kept at his task though, until he had created a hole deep enough for him to crawl into. He shoveled the broken soil back over himself and closed his eyes. His body heat slowly warmed up his little burrow, and he soon slipped into a dreamless sleep.

Akira nodded and gave her a smile. He had nothing to be judgmental about. Any clothing would be just fine with him. He followed her into the other room and waited for her to open her closet. She had only one outfit in the closet which was a cute blouse and skirt. The sad part was the skirt would probably not be warming enough in this weather. He smiled at her and pattered her gently on the back to reassure her.

"I'll wear the blouse. If you have sweats somewhere in your pile, I don’t mind wearing them. I didn't really have much before so I don't really mind that you wore them before. You owe me nothing in return anyway," he answered truthfully. He grabbed the blouse and slowly pulled it on. He didn't want to rip it. Oddly enough, the blouse actually fit him. He had a woman's find curves and delicacy so that might have helped a little in pulling the shirt on. If he had breasts, then the shirt would have been a bit too small.

He turned back to her a little embarrassed about his eagerness to wear her clothing. He never had much of an opportunity to wear woman’s clothing and his parents might have been a little happy about that one little aspect. His parents. They weren't much of parents anyway. They would have offered him up to the 'colony' if he hadn't run away. He had been alone and then abused by someone he thought cared about him. Then he found himself dumped in the colony.

Shelli nodded, and hid a smile behind her hand. How funny; he looked better in her blouse than she did. She led him to the back room, where most of her dirty laundry was thrown on the floor. She bent down, and began digging through the mountain of fabric. Finally, she found what she had been looking for. She held up her warmest pair of sweats as if they were a prize. She handed them to him, promising herself that she would do laundry at the very next opportunity.

She turned to leave the room so that he could put them on in peace. As she left, she talked to him over her shoulder.
"I fixed a little dinner, when you're ready. It might be getting a little cold, but I can warm it up. I didn't have much in the fridge," she admitted. "But I fixed what I could."

She walked into the kitchen, and threw the plates into the microwave. She let them heat up for a few seconds only. She didn't want the eggs to get burnt. She laid them back on the table, and threw a few ice cubes into the glasses of water as she waited for Akira to come in from the bed room. She realized that she had forgotten something, and she stood up and went to the door of her room.
"There should be underwear in the top of the dresser," she whispered through the door.

Akira followed her and waited for her to sort through the laundry. He felt like such a burden. She should have been warm under the covers and sleeping the night away yet here she was forced to help him and make him a little comfortable. He had no place here. He was an intruder. He rubbed his arm and looked away until she handed him the pair of pants which he gladly took from her. They were so soft...

He waited until she left before he pulled the towel away from his waist and looked at the pants. Then he realized he didn't have a pair of boxers. She wouldn't have any either. He groaned a little and reluctantly started to pull on the pants until she knocked and told him about the underwear. Normally, it wasn't that great of an idea to share such private things but it was a necessity.

He shrugged the pants off and went to the dresser and pulled out some underwear. This would be odd, but it was better than nothing. He slipped it on before he pulled up the pants. He placed the towel he used in the laundry pile and walked out into the kitchen to find the meal prepared for him. He blushed a little to the delight.

"Thank you. You have done so much for me and I don't know what I can do for you. Just name it and I will pay you back for this. I am in your debt." He took a seat and started to wolf down the food but tried to slow down. He wondered how his friend was fairing. Hopefully he to would survive the night somewhere safe and warm. Would they see each other again? He hoped so.
.

Shelli shrugged, pleased that he was pleased. It had been so long since she had been able to help someone. She had almost forgotten how good it felt. She finished her own late-night-meal quickly, trying not to wince at her own bad cooking. At least her guest didn't seem to mind. He ate the food as if it was the best thing he'd ever had. Which, compared to whatever they served at the camps, it probably was. She dumped her plate in the sink, promising herself that she would clean the dishes tomorrow.

"You don't need to thank me," she said, making a face. "I - " she had to take a deep breath to steady her voice. "I lost my brother to the camps. I haven't seen him in, well, it must be over five years now. I just hope that if he ever got away, someone would be nice enough to take care of him," she explained. She didn't really believe in karma, but if there was a chance that her actions now could help her brother. . . she shook her head. Anything was worth a try.

As she waited for him to finish his meal, her thoughts raced. She needed to think of somehow to hide him from the guards. Since a prisoner escaped, they would most likely search every house in the morning. She hadn't been planning on hiding anyone, so she didn't have any secret places to stash him away. She rubbed her temples in frustration. There had to be someplace. . . she sighed. Well, there was a small tunnel where she and her brother used to play. Akira might just be small enough to squeeze into it. If she could cover it with leaves or something, it might just work. They would have to wait until the morning to find out.

"...I am truly sorry about your brother," Akira said sincerely. It was a sad event to loose someone you cared about. "I hope he is doing well. If you ever want to talk about it, I will more than willing to listen and answer questions. I just wont go into some of my personal experiences. I hope one day he comes back to you, but I still thank you. Not many would open their doors for me or anyone else for that matter." His thoughts quickly drifted to his friend. He hoped he was still alive and would survive. He gave a silent prayer and wondered if God listened to people like him. He hoped so. He had been faithful for the most part.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Time Warp~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Akira had a pleasant night for the most part. He had fallen asleep rather quickly thanks to his exhaustion of that night along with the rest of his long years at the camp. When he woke, the sun was playing shadows on his face. He rubbed his eyes and groaned. He sat up a little bewildered and quite sore. His hair was a tangled heap around his face but not as bad as it had been before. Bruises lined his body as usual so that wasn't something frighteningly new. His surroundings were however. He gasped and froze until the events came back to him. He let out a sigh and relaxed once more.

He stood up and stretched gingerly. He pulled his hair back and quietly walked out of the room. He didn't want to wake her up. He had already done that once. He would make her food and then leave. He couldn't put her into harms away. It would be too much to ask of her. He would leave her a note and run away again. He had to find his partner.

Shelli tossed in her bed, trying to fall back asleep. Her whole night had been spent sleeping off and on, and she wasn't quite ready to get up yet. With a sigh, she sat up. Her eyes opened slowly as she greeted the still-dark-sky with a grimace. She snapped to full alertness as she heard a noise coming from the kitchen. Last night's events temporarily forgotten, she got out of her bed as quietly as she could.

On the way out of her room, she grabbed the baseball bat that she kept hidden behind the door. This wouldn't be the first time that someone had broken in, and she couldn't afford to loose anything else. She tiptoed down the hallway, and peeked around the corner into the kitchen. Her shoulders sagged in relief as she recognized the back of the person who was rummaging through the fridge.

She smiled, and leaned against the door frame.
"I don't know if you'll find anything of use in there," she admitted. She winced as her sudden words made the poor man jump. Perhaps she should have chosen a more subtle way to announce herself.

Akira squeaked and jumped at the sudden voice. He slammed the refrigerator door by accident and turned around bewildered until he realized it was just his kind host. He gave a sigh of relief and put a hand on his chest. A blush crept up onto his cheeks at the spectacle he had just caused. He cleared his throat and looked away from her.

"G-Good morning..." he said weakly. He rubbed the back of his head and glanced back at the fridge. "I was hoping I could make you breakfast quietly and then leave so I didn't have to burden you. I don't want you to go to the camp or get executed for helping me. Your too kind and I don't wish you any trouble. I really don't. The Enforcers should be coming around soon so that I don't get away," he admitted and shifted uneasily.

He couldn't leave. Not yet. He had to find his friend first. He would be all alone if he hadn't been shot. He'd find out easily. The body would be hanging in the middle of the square as a warning. He hoped that wouldn't be the case. He had to find him before he froze to death though. Then they could run out of this place together and help each other. He needed to bring a little food for him though. It wouldn't be fair if he had eaten but didn't pass along a bit.

Shelli shook her head.
"There's no reason for you to sneak off by yourself. I thought of a place," she explains, "that you might be able to hide during their search. If they decide that you're not in this neighborhood, then it'll be easier for you to get away later. Right now, they'll be on their highest guard. I can't let you go now, you understand." She tried to stay forceful, but she knew that she couldn't stop him if he really wanted to go. She would just have to hope that he would trust her.

Ryann woke up to the fresh, but crisp morning air. He coughed, spitting out some dirt he had swallowed during the night. He stayed still for a moment, listening to make sure that he was alone before he moved. Once he was fairly sure he was safe, he wriggled around to free the layer of dirt that was covering him. He peaked his head out gingerly and looked around. Slowly, oh so slowly, he liberated himself from his self-dug and temporary grave. He climbed out, and brushed the dust from his hair.

He looked around, trying to figure out just what to do. His memory of last night was hazy at best; he had been focusing only on each moment as it passed. His eyebrows knitted together as he tried to recall the details. He had to figure out which way Akira had ran. He groaned in frustration. He couldn't remember anything. He stood up, looking around. There had to be something that would jog his memory. He couldn't leave until he at least knew that his friend was safe. With a deep breath, he began to sneak back into the city.

Akira bit his lip and looked at everything but at her. Should he trust her? What if she tried to retain him here so that the Enforcers would catch him? If they did, they would torture him and then kill him. He didn't want that to happen. He couldn't go back. He started to shake at the emotion but couldn't decide. He would risk his life by leaving, but staying would also be a danger. Which one was the lesser of the two evils purposed to him? He gave a sighed and rubbed his face.

"I'll stay. But... I need to find my friend. We escaped together and I can't leave him out there alone if he is still alive. I hoe you can understand I can't abandon him. The only thing we have is each other and even that is strained. I have to look for him before I stay in that place you said was safe," he answered and hugged himself. He couldn't ask her to look with him. That would be too much and he had nothing to offer in return.

"You don't have to. If you don't want to help, I can always do it myself. I could just go looking," he said trying to fix the situation. He looked up at her a little desperately and hoped she could understand. She had to. Her brother was in a camp.

Shelli regarded him for a moment. She couldn't think of any way to deny him his request. Although it was dangerous right now, it would be even more dangerous for his friend. She could tell from the desperate expression in his eyes that he would not be satisfied to wait until the search was over. After all, it could be too late by then. She sighed, and ran a hand through her hair.

"Alright," she agreed reluctantly. "I won't ask you to stay while your friend is in danger. But I also can't allow you to go out on your own." She wrestled with herself before she spoke farther. She had already put her head on the chopping block just by taking this guy in from the street. She had brought the blade closer to her neck by feeding and clothing him. Hadn't she done enough? Her mind screamed yes; there was no reason to risk her own life for a stranger. But her heart would not listen. There was no way she could send this scared and broken man into the lion's den alone. She would never be able to live with herself afterwards. With a small sigh of regret, she spoke.
"Let's get going, then. With any luck we'll be able to get you both safely hidden before the search gets to my street."

Ryann cursed as he heard the heavy footfalls of boots coming in his direction. He quickly slid under a dumpster, glad for once that they had neglected to feed him; he would never have been able to fit under there before. He heard the Enforcers stop, and lift the lid of his temporary haven. He held his breath as the shuffled through it, finding nothing. His eyes closed in silent relief as they slammed it closed and continued on their way. He crawled out, and went in the opposite direction. He had to find Akira before they did. He just had to.

A smile quickly brightened his face and he couldn't help himself. He ran to her and hugged her tightly. "Thank you!" he whispered. He was truly grateful. Truth be told, he didn't want to go out alone. He was afraid and he was ashamed of that fact. He couldn't even go look for his friend without being held by the hand. His friend was no doubt all alone in the cold. Who did he have to lean on? He pulled away from her and sighed.

"I guess we should go then..." he muttered. “I really am sorry for putting you through this danger. I have no right to. You are innocent and I just stained your hands. I wish I could do something for you in turn. You told me something about your brother being in the camp. Maybe… just maybe I have some good news, but I need to know what his name was.” Akira began.

He fumbled with his shirt and bit his lip. What if he didn’t have good news? Then he would have made the situation worse. That wasn’t something he wanted. “If you don’t want to know, I won’t say anything. I just want to do something for you in return for you risking your life for me.”

Shelli hesitated. She longed for news of her brother; prayed for it everyday. But what if she found out something she didn't want to know? Was there truth in the saying 'ignorance is bliss'? She closed her eyes, mentally debating with herself. Finally she decided that even if it was bad news, at least it would be better than wondering. It would be better than not knowing if he was even alive.

She looked up at him, her eyes full of restrained tears. Suddenly he was the only thing in her world. He could either provide her with hope or despair. She just wasn't sure what response would cause which reaction. Would it be better if he was alive, or dead? Alive, he would have a chance to escape, as Akira had. But he would also be tormented day and night.
"Jeremy," she said finally. "He's only fifteen."

Ryann froze as he heard the sounds of dogs barking. His heart began to pound in his chest as he searched for somewhere - anywhere - that he could hide. Water. Water would dampen the smell of him. No one in this neighborhood could afford a pool, but luckily one yard was built in a small valley. Muddy swamp-like water filled it. He could only hope that that would be deep enough. He threw his shirt farther down the road, so that the dogs would chase that, and took a big leap into the puddle. He landed face-first in the stagnant water, which barely covered him, and waited. With any luck, they would pass soon. He couldn't hold is breath for long.

As soon as she said the name, his eyes widened. Jeremy. Little Jeremy. Akira's heart was heavy all over again. His poor little Jeremy was all alone back at the camp. He looked away from her and le his hair cover his face. He knew what it must have seemed like to her. A confirmation that Jeremy was dead, but that wasn't true. He didn't want to say anything, but he had promised her the information. Jeremy's image came to his mind all over again and tears filled his eyes.

"J-Jeremy is alive. He has survived so far. We... we looked out for each other. When he was brought in, I tried to protect him but it didn't much help. We were there for each other just like Ryann was there for me. We... we ended up falling in love and of course we were punished for it and separated. He was put in a different a camp. When Ryann and I planned to escape, I managed to give him the message but he was caught by the guard. I tried to go back but Ryann pulled me away. I don't know what happened then..." At the end, his voice began to trail off.

"I am sorry I couldn't give you more news than that. I wish Jeremy was with us and free, but he isn't and it's my fault for not being there for him. I should have been and I wasn't. I shouldn't be here, Jeremy should have. Then you'd have your brother back and you'd be a happy family again! I should have gone back to help him. I was a coward and I couldn't protect him.." tears began to flow freely from his eyes now and he hugged himself. No doubt they tortured him. Could they have killed him? He shuddered at the thought.

Shelli took in each word like a parched man takes in water. He was alive. She had waited for so long to hear those words. But he had tried to escape, and he had been caught. She didn't know what kind of punishment that would bring, but she was sure it wouldn't be light. She shuddered. She could feel the tears building in her eyes, but she refused to give in to them. Right now, she had another problem to address. She took a deep breath so that her voice would be steady when she talked, and put her hand on Akira's shaking shoulder.

"No," she said, a bit hoarsely. "If you had have tried to go back, you both would have been caught. You were doing what was best for the most people. Unless Jeremy has changed drastically since he's been. . . away, he wouldn't want you to sacrifice yourself to try and save him. The guilt would eat away at him just as it is you, now. We can't change the past, so we can't dwell on it." She cleared her throat, trying to keep the sobs restrained. She longed to have Jeremy here with her, but that wasn't an option at the moment. And she had to remember that that was nobody's fault except for the government's.

"Right now," she said, "we have to focus on finding your other friend, Ryann, right? We'll deal with everything else later." She took her hand from his shoulder. "And, thank you," she said quietly. "At least I don't have to wonder anymore. He's strong. He'll make it through whatever they do to him."

Her words did little to comfort him at that moment, but he knew it would do him good later. He still hated himself for ditching him, but she was right. if he had gone back, they would have both been tortured and probably killed. He wondered if he wanted him dead or not. If he was dead, he wouldn't be in pain anymore, but if he was alive then he had a chance to free him from the bowls of the government.

"You are welcome but we still have to wonder. Thank you for your words though. I should be comforting you but here you are helping me. I am sorry. I sound so selfish. I thank you a hundred times over for all that you are sacrificing for me. I will repay you some day for this even if you say you don't need any payment." He hugged her once more and wiped their tears before opening the door.

The problem now was where they would actually go and look for Ryann. They had gone off in different directions and for all that Akira knew, they had gone in circles. What if Ryann had been killed? He shook his head and started to walk out in one direction. He hoped that God would give them a little mercy. He did create them this way after all. "Please let them be alive..." he muttered under his breath.