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 Alucard the Fallen

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PostSubject: Alucard the Fallen   Alucard the Fallen Icon_minitimeMon Sep 21, 2009 2:30 am

(its not short to let you know and comments are welcome)

Alucard walks down the dark street in L.A. The distant sirens of squad cars roll by. Staggering down the street dressed in all black. What am I trying to do? He asks himself. He leans up against a wall when a door down the street busts open and a group of about Twenty guys walk out.



“Disgusting, those mortals smell the same, Repulsive. Like burning, rotting flesh,” He thought dryly, as he wrinkled his nose. One of the guys makes a motion, “their leader most likely,” They laugh as they make their way down to Alucard.



He shifted his weight to the left, looks threw his hair at them and smiles, Fangs glinting in the light.



“Look what we have here boys, a Goth fagot,” the guy laughs. “Let’s teach him a lesson in fashion shall we?” They agree loudly and begin to move around Alucard, surrounding him in a semi circle.



Alucard looks up a sneer on his face, “I don’t think you know what I am,” says smugly as he takes his hands out of his pockets and snaps them closed. Making a loud nose as it breaks Mach 1.



Kind of startled but not scared, “This little punk thinks he something that we should be afraid of, I think he needs to be taught a lesson.” He steps forward a grabs Alucard by the neck and lifts him off the ground.



Alucard looks at him eyes Blood red and swirling, spins out of his hand breaking it. He lands lightly on feet and rebounds off wall into the others sinking his fangs into ones neck, downing mouthful after mouthful of blood when he gets pulled off.



“What the fuck!” Staggering back the yells and pulls out a gun and fires off the clip. “What the fuck are you?!”



Standing there the bullets clink to the ground and he looks up and flashes behind him ripping his throat out with a loud gurgle. “Your last sight,” Steps behind another guy and gets a knife thrusted into the ribs. “You can’t hurt me.” Alucard twists around and pulls knife out and slams it into mans skull. Standing there blood dripping from his black hair and crouching over a man. Slowly lets him fall to the ground. He stands up eyes glowing red with thirst.



The other guys take of down the street at a frantic pace trying to get away, but there is none. Alucard leaps into the air and lands on one breaking his back as he leaps off him. He takes another’s life by snapping his neck as he flies by him and lands sharply onto another. “You owe a debt to the devil, its time you went to join him.” Rears back and plunges his fangs into his exposed throbbing vein. “I can’t fight this… this thirst as they call it. Not even an angel can hold back the thirst,” Pulling himself off the corpse, wipes his mouth on the guy shirt. Looking up at the clouds it begins to rain. He walks slowly out of the alley and begins running at speeds not able to be caught with the human eye.



Hair slicked back with sweat and rain he thinks to himself as he races past people with a gust of wind. “I have to get out of this rain. I need to think alone,” he stops suddenly, people around him step back startled. As it looked like he appeared there out of thin air. “She is here, Ren what are you doing here?” As he takes off into the air so fast no one see’s him he lands in an alleyway as he follows her scent. “Where are you going, where have you been?” He see’s a lone figure with wolf like ears. “Ren…” voice deep and evil, “what are you doing here?



Ren turns slowly rage in her eyes,” What am I doing here, I should be asking you the same thing, after all this time you never came to find me.” Leaping at him she caught him around the neck.



“I haven’t been myself for a while; this thirst has been getting to me. Its uncontrollable…” he looks at her and she wraps her arm around his neck and kisses him.



“You know no matter what I will always love you” she said in a seductive voice. “I saw what you did; I was going to stop you but, figured if you wanted to you would have.” She hugs him tightly and he leaps into the air.



“I have come back to you. You own me the change,” She said. He grips her tighter and runs his free hand threw her fur on her tail. She leans against him and wraps his arms around her waist.



“Why do you want this?” He asks sternly as he lands lightly on the balls of his feet, he sets her down. “Will you tell me that?”



Ren shuffles on her feet and looks at him coldly. “You made the promise that you would; I have come to take the offer.” She stares at him. Alucard walks up to her and slides his arms around her waist and kisses her. “Do you really want this? Not just because you can not die. But are you really sure?”



“I do, I am able to hear every thought you have. I want to be like you everything about you pulls me in… I love you,” Her thoughts drift into his mind as he lowers to her neck. She raises her head up and allows him access to her pulsing vein.

"I won't die," She says with pain lacing her voice. "With out you I would be nothing," Stroking my hair. He slows as he nears the house and a wolf appears by his side.

"Revenge?" Alucard asked though he knew who it was by her russet fur. "What are you doing here?"

Revenge changes into her human form. "I should be asking you that, I thought you wouldn't be coming back for a while. At least that's what you said before you left last." Revenge opens the door with a key as we walk up and tosses keys onto a table in the hallway.

"You remodeled my house?" Alucard asks her with a grin on his face. "Looks good, I have to watch her. She turning into one of me.... Partly at least."

Revenge comes over, "I haven't seen a Renamon for years... You know her?" She looks at me. " your in love aren't you? Yeah, you don't have to answer I known you for well of a thousand years... Never thought you would." She walks to the kitchen leaving him and Ren alone.

"Hey, you never said it would hurt so much,"she winces with pain. "Don't worry though, I'll be with you forever." she passes out due to the pain.



Alucard lands heavily in a crowded street deep in thought. When he feels people begin to make their way towards him. He picks up his unnatural speed, but the others hit him with a bullet in the back. Making him stagger, Alucard turns around feeling the bullet drop to the ground. He smirks as he see's its some gang members, telling by their red flags hanging out the right side. He thinks to himself, "Why, does it always comes to me, with these fights?" He turns around and see's some blades, a Uzi, and various weapons pointed at him.

He spreads his wings out, bearing his fangs. making the alleyway go black, he kills them silently. He steps with unnatural silence, out into the street. He looks up and down the street and leaps off into the the night. Blood drenched cloths he flies mind clouded with hunger. Seeks the blood of many, many that will not come to death. He seeks only one, His maker... His Vampiric maker, he wants revenge. The scent takes him and drives him into a state not known to anyone, one that can only exist with true power and lust. A state with a mind only controlled by a god... Dachus is the only name given.

Alucard turns his head, searching trying to figure out which way to go. He thinks back to the time he was turned. Back when mankind was dark and hostile... England. He thinks shapely and he banks to the right, "I'm coming for you." Cackles evilly, as he flaps twice bringing him to a godly speed. He streamlines his body against the air flowing by him. He closes his eyes, and lets his sense of direction guide him while he thinks. Why did I ever come to earth that day, Why was I turned from being the most beautiful being to the most hated?

Alucard opens his eyes and dips below a Boeing 777 as it screams deafeningly by. As he does that, he notices he is over England. "That was fast," he thought in a amused sense. "Its odd though, I sense him yet..." He tucks his wings in, dropping to the ground lands in a sprint. He scents around for his master. He finds a faint trail and begins following it threw the streets of a small town, not stopping for anything his trail leads him into the forest behind a barber shop.

As he walks into the forest a strong hand grabs him ground the neck. "You have come, such a mistake it is that you have." The persons face hidden in shadow, but the voice is unmistakable.

"You think I am what I once was, you really think I can be handled like this? Well your wrong!" grabs the hand and rips it off his neck " I'm not to trampled, I'm not to be pushed around. I am of my own will not yours or anyone." Alucard swiftly plants his foot on his chest sending him flying into a tree, splintering it.

"A strong one you are, far stronger then I realized" Dominic gets up and looks at Alucard with black eyes. "Your master controls you, I say stand down or die"

"I Alucard, half Vampire full Angel, am guided by no one" He steps forward with blurring speed and thrusts his hand threw Dominic chest. " this is your last night on earth, I hope you enjoy hell. You demon"

Dominic grips Alucards wrist and slides off his hand, lands with a grunt on the ground. "Why are you doing this, why are you killing me?" He stands up slowly, legs weak. "Tell me why, Alucard?"

"Because, you took something form me that I can't regain, for millenia. You took my place in heaven, you took that away from me. What did I do after this happened? Destroyed my place of origin. Enough, time for you to die!" kicks his head like a soccer ball. Dominic's body falls to the ground limp. Life fades from his dark eyes, as the sun rises his body begins to burn.

Alucard, turns sharply and strides away, opening his wings. He takes off flying back towards Ren, back towards his love....




Ren laying there feeling the fire run threw her veins, she feels her heart begin to slow. The fire dissipating from her hand and feet, she feels her heart thud every 10 seconds. The times grow longer and longer with each beat, and with each beat the fire fades from her. When the pain finally stops, her heart lies dormant. Forever to stop beating, she opens her eyes. Looks around the room, and she see's the dust floating in the air, as if she is looking threw a microscope. She see's the grain in the wall 20 feet away. Her once fuzzy world now clearer then crystal. She hears, Revenge in the kitchen a floor down like she is right there next to her.

She gets off the bed, and sets her feet on the floor. She kicks off and lands outside the door. "This is amazing," she thinks, at that moment she notices her thoughts expand farther and she can think more. "I am better, stronger then before."

Outside, she hears almost none existent wings beats, and she takes flight down the stair. " Alucard!" she thinks as the front door opens.

As he steps in the door, he gets tackled by Ren. "Whoa," Catches her, in his arms. "Your very kinky today, what's gotten into you?" He asks as he carries her into the house and closes the door with a brush of his right wing.

"You is what has gotten into me," Kisses him, as slides to the floor. "You hungry?" Backing away from him, and starts towards the kitchen.

Alucard follows, watching her swaying hips. "I'm up here," she says in a playful voice. "That's for later, I am taking that you are hungry. Making eggs and bacon, you want some?" She opens the door to the refrigerator, grabs the eggs and bacon.

"Why not, I could use some food." watches her as she bends over to pick up the pan. Lays head on counter, and closes eyes. He feels a hand touch his shoulder, he looks under his arm and see's Snowfires legs.

"You feeling okay, you look sick." Snowfire asked, with concern in her voice. " you should go to sleep, eat after you have rested."

Alucard nods and gets up, glides to a room and crashes onto a bed. Sleep over takes him as he falls, its warm embrace sucking him under. Next thing he knows he is walking down a beach the sun beating upon his red wings, warming then slightly. He looks up and see's a bird flying in lazy circles, around the sun.

Slight ripple in the water draws his attention, Alucard turns and looks at it when a sweet voice reaches his ear. "Alucard, come to me... come to my voice..." The seductive voice says distant sounding with a slight echo. "Come... You know you want to."

Alucard Sits up suddenly, back in his house and its pitch black. The voice still lingering in his head, "Alucard.... come to me..." It fading whisper sounds, he gets up and walks out of the door. Opens the bathroom door and starts the shower. Still being blood stained he sheds his close as the door closes with a small snap. The bathroom quickly filling with w thick veil of steam, he steps over the small rise of the shower stall into a walk in closet size shower with three nozzles. The moment the water hits him, it takes his breath away by the temperature. He doesn't care as he closes the door behind him, into darkness. He forgot to turn the light on, "great I'm not even gonna bother it," He thinks to himself.

Reaches into the darkness and grabs a bottle of shampoo, and squeezes some into his hand and lathers his hair up, When the door to the shower opens up. Ren outlined in the dim light steps in and closes the door. Perfectly blended in as her fur is black as night. "Need help, I'll be happy to wash you up," A seductive tone to her voice. Ren grabs Alucard and spins him around and Kisses him.

Alucard taken slightly aback, kisses her back. He pulls back suddenly, " No I can't do this, not now..." Hugging her, he says. "When the time is right, we will do this. I promise, but not now" Kisses her neck, and holds her while the water, soaks her fur. He pulls her deeper into the shower, deeper into the stream of hot water. "I do love you though," Deep voice reverberating off the showers walls.

Ren looks up into his blue, gold flecked eyes. "Alucard, I love you to. More then you could know," She buries her face into his chest. She blushes as they hold each other in the stream. Shampoo running down his arm's into her fur, and falls down to the floor.

After they leave the bathroom, both of them walk to the kitchen and begin making something to eat. After waiting a few minutes, "Hey lets go hunting, I haven't done that in a while... But something special. Not animal..." She steps back and thinks.

"Your needing blood," Alucard looks at her. "Lets go now, I know... A place we can go." He takes her hand, puts his hand around her waist.

"Alucard, thanks. Your really sweet." Ren says in a sweet voice. "What place do you have in mind?"

"I was thinking London, there is some people there that need to be taken out." He says with a thoughtful tone. "They are a couple of killers, it would help the city. I see no harm done." They two, walk out of the kitchen. Alucard opens the door and lets her walk threw, following right behind her.

"How are we going to get there?" She asks, but knowing how. She smile sat him, "though, I believe I already know how we are."

Alucard hugs her and opens his wings, gently leaps into the air. He kisses her and slowly ascends into the air, He takes them high into the air and dips his wings forward, starting the forward momentum that he needs. "You know how I like to travel with you."


In the distance a evil power watches them as they fly away, it cackles as it opens it misty black wings and takes flight silently after them. "I'm coming for you, Alucard. Your time has come..." The person/demon, floats on a immense black cloud, that causes lift in its wings. Its banks into some clouds and follows by the sense it has.

Alucard looks behind him and see's the black mass. "Watch behind us, look as though your hugging me with your face in my chest. But watch, there is something following us..." Alucard, strokes with his massive wings. The down draft moving clouds down a few feet. Around him, the clouds become heavy with unnatural rain.

Air becomes wet and heavy, coating his wings in water. Then the thunder booms around the two, cause their bones to tremble with each immense boom.

"Alucard, its getting closer." Ren says while in his arms. "What are you gonna do?"

Ren sinks into his arms and keeps watch, her heart if it were still beating would be fluttering. Her mind, racing with emotions she just smiles and hugs him. Alucard banks to the right and dips his wings dives.

"Its following, what ever it is. Its coming" Ren said, voice calm. "That weird, its floating on blackness."

Lightning strikes Alucard, folding his right wing. His wing electrified won't re-open. " Ren, when we get close to the ground jump, I can't land with you in my arms. You'll be safer doing it."

Ren looks at him and then at the ground rushing up to meet them. "Its dirt, you'll survive right?"

" Yes, I should..." He says and lets her go, standing her on his abs. " jump now, spring board off me, you need to slow down."

Doesn't want to do it, but has no choice. She leaps into the air, the force of her spring sends Alucard smacking the ground at 200 miles an hour. Her decent slowed by 80 percent she lands with a graceful bounce and runs over but is stopped by the demon.

"Yo will not touch him," The demon snarls. "He is going to die, one way or another."

Alucard gets up, arm hanging at a odd angle. He grabs it and pulls it back with a snap and it hangs right. "I'm going to what? I'm going to die, who says?" He says with a smirk on his face.

Demon turns around, "Your thinking to highly of yourself, there are people just as powerful as you."

"I think highly of myself?" Alucard takes shift off, rain begins to pour. "I'm going to die, then let me die fighting."

Out of the rain steps more of the demons kind, they surround Alucard. Every flash of lightning reveals their true look. The look of beast, Half man half wolf. Vampires Enemy, The Lycan. Not a normal Lycan, but a tainted Lycan.

"You have made a deal with the devil." Alucard smirks, as he flicks his hair and looks around him.

A flash of movement, Alucard gets hit and flies across the clearing. He lands on the ground with his right hand slides across the ground he grips and slams his feet into the dirt. Kicking off he attacks the tainted who attack.

When he does so, the whole of the group attack. "You will die under them, nothing will save you."

Ren flips over the one who stopped her, she drops onto the back of one and slams her fist into its spine, out of rage as it falls she pulls him out.

Alucard after grabbing her hand spinning out, wings open and a flash of light erupts from the demon who talked. It grabs its chest as it explodes outward. "Your joining him soon."

The demons start running away, Alucard watches with a grin on his face. "You all think its over after you run. But its not its only the beginning.

Looking around he grabs a small stone and throws it with all his strength. It whistles through air a short time later, a wet thunk sounds from the direction it was thrown. "Gotcha bastard." as he says that Ren quick steps in front of him and begins running towards where the demon went. Alucard takes after her, taking some effort to catch her. "New bloods always stronger then someone who has become one long ago." He thought with a smirk, when something hits him in the side. Causing him to hit Ren, sending them into a rock.

"Oof" was Rens reply as a dead weight of him hits her. "Really necessary?" helping her up and turning to look for the thing that did that. Crouched ready to attack, the same group reforms and attacks as one. "Alucard what are we going to do?" Smacks one sending it into a few others.

"Only one solution to this little problem, I'm not fighting today..." He stops as he gets something slammed into his stomach. He gasps as his stomach is cut open, though nothing is spilled the air there just isn't right. "Something you shouldn't have done," He grabs the large blade and slides off it slowly. "Blades don't effect me as do most others." He says dryly, endless fighting over the past centuries has him bored of the same feat being tried on him. Not wanting to do this again he gently grabs Rens waist and takes her side. Opening his wings he takes of without no effort, pulling her closer A white light forms around them both, and they shimmer from the visual spectrum into a place that only a few have been.

"Alucard... is this what I think it is?" Ren asks with a shocked expression and tone to her sweet voice. She takes a few cautious steps away and looks around.

"Yes, it is Heaven." He says a grave tone. As Ren walks around, she grabs a white pillar and grabs a corner and climbs nimbly up it. Takes her a few minutes to reach the top. When she does she looks at Alucard walking around and walking up a pair of short steps into a room. After disappearing she continues to look around. Her surrounding is to magnificent to even describe. After a few minutes she drops down to where Alucard went in at.

"Alucard?" she asks quietly, she walks into the small clearing see's him kneeling at the base of a hill covered with tombstones. She instantly goes quiet as she see's what they are labeled. "I'm sorry I'll leave you..."

"No its fine, I was only praying to my fallen brethren" He gets up and grabs her in a embrace. Melding to his body like a glove she kisses him.(I had to remove a part from here due to Adult content for give me)

His last conscious thoughts, "I shall love you forever...." the warmth of sleep draws them both deeply into the depths of its realm. Once again the voice sounds "come to me, come to me Alucard. Your destiny shall be fulfilled. You can join your brethren. Sleep now, for your life will change when you join me my love." the voice fades into the distance. As Rens and Alucards dream intertwine as one.

___

Laying in a field of grass, Ren hears someone approaching she leans on her elbow and see's Alucard, walking slowly threw the tall grass. "Alucard!" She exclaims. "What are you doing here, or are you here?" Confused look in her eyes.

"My love, I am here. You forget I'm a Fallen. I can mingle in your dreams."He takes her hand and pulls her to her feet, kissing deeply. They both seem to get lost in each other. The sky fades to a dark grey and a storm breaks out. From the mind of Ren, her perfect moment unfolds. Alucard smiles in the kiss, as the rain beats down drenching them within seconds, they both pull back. Ren breathing in his breath, so rich in oxygen. It makes her mind spin, snapping his wings open. A beam of sunlight hits the rain as its hit back into the sky, reflecting in rays shining from behind him making Alucard look like a god. " I will be your forever, your wildest dreams will come true with me."

Ren lays her head on his chest, and smiles. "Just being with you is my wildest dream. Your all I ever wanted, all I will ever need." Feeling a familiar tug of consciousness, "I'll see you back in the real world my love." Kissing him, the dream fades away and a red veil fills her vision. She turns to her side and nuzzles up to him.

"Good morning, my beautiful vixen," He says kissing her between her ears, and holding her with a sigh he thinks his life over. "In love with the best girl a man could ever want. Not having to worry about people and worldly problems. I love this." He rubs her back and works his way down her waist. Rubbing her legs she pulls her self and sits on his stomach. Rubbing her legs she kisses him full on the lips.

"Alucard, whats to happen now?" she asks with a twinkle in her eyes. "To your work, saving people and what not."

He thinks about it, "I don't know. You want to help me with it?" He asks thoughtfully. "I could use your help. Since we can basically be anywhere we want to." She smiles and without a word, pulls him into a standing position.

"I think its time to head back to Snowfire, check up on her." she says setting her feet back on the ground, taking his hand wrapping her wingers in with his, gently running her claws across the back of his hand..

With a nod Alucard pushes the both of them back into reality, back into the kitchen of the house, "welcome back you two" Snowfire says, without looking up from her PSP. "Oh some friends on Xbox wanted to play with you. Halo 3 or CoD 4 They don't care." Looking up after finishing crisis core, she giggles. "Love birds at it again huh?" Pointing at their lack of cloths.

"Yes as a matter of fact," Rens smiles devilishly. "You could join us sometime, you'd enjoy it a lot." grins and puts arm around Alucard. "If he doesn't mind of course."

"Looking around at you two," He says with a smirk forming. "I'd love to, just one thing. We do this with no regrets." Grins and kisses Ren, Sliding out of her hug, he walks to the kitchen with a prefect gait. He flexes his wings a little bit, and opens the fridge and grabs a Coca-cola. "Well off to see what they want."

Ren nods and walks to the couch and lays down, feels her insides are sore. Trying to Remember at one point did they get this way, besides the fact of the sex they had.

"Where did you two go?" Snowfire asks looking at Ren. "If it's something I shouldn't know then I won't ask." Thinking back to the time when she and Alucard used to go off and have some fun with each other.

"Yeah its best for it not to be known." She says tiringly she gets up, kisses Snowfire on the cheek. "As a friend you and he probably have done it." She smiles and walks to her room and closes the door.

With a sigh Alucard turns the Xbox on and waits for it to power up. Plugging in his live vision camera he watches his, me come up. Thinking jokingly. "Wish they had wing set. To match mine" chuckling he gets spammed with a party invite. Slipping the mic around his head and flips it on. Accepting the invite waits a few seconds. "Cho man how is it going?"

After about a few minutes Snowfire sits next to him, "mind me joining since it's a custom game?" She picks up the controller as he nods his head. Sliding on the mic, and powering up the controller.

"Hey A very good friend of mine is gonna join. She is new to this, take it easy." Smiles at her as she logs in and spawns into the game.

"Hey guys, whats up?" picks up a sniper and snipes a couple of people. "Don't listen to him, I'm okay at this."

Coming from her head set. "You sound cute, how old are you?"

"You want to know why?" She chuckles killing the guy who asked. "If you must know I'm twenty-two"

"Does he have a live camera we can see each other, if you like." The guy says after killing Alucard.

Alucard grins and jumps into the hornet and splatters him then shoots a guy with a dual rocket blast. "Yeah I do, if she wants she can. After this we'll invite you. Fine with you Snow?"

"Yeah I'm fine with it, he can look but can't ever have." she says with a serious voice.

"Your on, would like to see that." After the match finishes she sends him a invite to video chat. "I can't see anything yet. Your hott!"

Alucard chuckles and gets up, shuffling his wings behind her he hears the guy stop for a second. He waits for it silently

"Did I see that right, who has a set of fake wings?" He exclaims loudly. "Does someone?"

"I don't know, if you want to see them then He has to come back." Snowfire says taking a swig of Alucards soda. Setting it back down. He steps behind her.

"So what did you want to see?" He says casually in a flat tone.

"I saw wings, I was wanting to know if you had them or if it was a trick of the camera." He says with interest showing on his face, and in his voice. Controller in hand he is visibly shaking slightly.

"Oh these?" Alucard turns around and shows it to them. "Had these for a long while." He says casually looking at the camera and talking into open air. But loud enough for him to be heard.

"Where did you get them, I want a pair." Looking around for a pen and paper to write it down he, looks back ready to write.

"They aren't fake." Alucard stretches them off the screen and moves them and bends them. "They are real, one hundred percent real. No illusions or tricks."

The guy faints on the other end, and falls out of his chair. Laughing alucard cuts off the Xbox and walks to the kitchen. "Knew that reaction was coming. So anything you want to do?"

"Well seeing Rens sleeping you want to go out and go shopping, she could use more soap and shampoo. I noticed she was running low on her hair products."

Alucard mulling around in the kitchen, making something quick to drink. Thinks about it for a few minutes and slides wings back into their notch on his back. "Yeah lets do that, I'll leave a note for her to let her know where we went." He says quickly scribbling down where he was going to be. Though his scribbles are better then the most perfect hand written document ever recorded. "Okay, we can go now. Let me grab my bank card."

"Okay, we running or are we flying?" she asks with a lusty smile on her face.

"Flying is fastest and safest. I'm taking that way." Taking her hand and kicking out the front door with her weightless next to him. "Where to now, the mall. Wal-mart or what?"

"The mall would be best, has more of a selection on the girl products." she says looking around. "West 30 miles the best one."

Alucard nods and closes his eyes and lets his mind take him there. As he does He slips into a deep thought that pulls him in. "What is going to happen?" I can't figure this out, normally I can just know some how the outcome but now..." He mentally sigh. " I can't for some reason. This is just plainly odd and is starting to tick me off." Letting his mind make his wings bank to the left, and pump up then down. They slow into a rhythm and he feels Snowfire pull to his chest. And snuggle against him.

Kind of mentally shivering at her thought that touches his mind. It is colder then ice but some how pleasant, He pulls her close in a friendly hug. His wing beats cause him to drift back to his thoughts.

Drifting deep in though a cloud bank drifts in suddenly. Obscuring the view of the ground and pulling Alucard back to the present.
"Alucard we are getting soaked can you lower our Altitude, please?" She asks loudly over the roar of the wind. Looking up into his feature less face.

Dipping his wings down he tries to descend out of the cloud cover. But he fails, only reaching the tree tops. Not exiting the super dense canopy of cloud cover.

"Alucard, this isn't natural is it?" She asks concentrating around her self. Trying to sense anything. I don't sense anything yet!" she tells, still sensing around their position.

Alucard picks up unnatural speed, pulling back his wings slightly. "Cover your ears and relax your jaw." he yells as the air around them compresses slightly.

Snowfire does as she told, watching the air compress slowly then snap back with a thunderous boom around them.

"I'm trying to out run this thing." looking around trying to "find" the edge of the fog or cloud cover, which ever it was.

Snowfire catches a mind for a brief second. "It isn't meaning any malintent its only curious what you are." She tries to find it again but can't. Only sense a presence but can't lock onto a mind.

"What ever it is, is really starting to piss me off." He snarls thinks about teleporting out of the cloud cover. Right as that thought passed his mind, the fog clears. And a White dragon appears. The strangest thing that its bi-ped, flaps its wings and drifts closer.

"I am sorry to stop you like this " It said looking at him with intelligent sapphire eyes. "My name is Nova, what is yours?"

"Alucard, the name is Alucard."He says "this is Snow fire," Nods down towards her. As the dragons Gaze shifts down, Snowfire waves at it.

Grinning she says, "Nice to meet you Nova." Looking into her eyes. "You have some beautiful eyes. They look like liquid Sapphire" Snowfires eyes glinting in the sun, the yellow iris showing.

"You're a Child of the Moon aren't you not?" Nova states more then asks. "I didn't sense you... Why is that?"

Before she could speak. "I block all mental intrusions from anyone that tries it." Alucard stated simple, but rudely.

"Hm... I see, Speaking of you."Nova looks at him. "What are you?"

Alucards stiffens not wanting to say what he is, he remains silent. Staring blankly ahead he feels a tap on his abs and looks down.

"Nova asked you a question." Snowfire says with a look of concern. "Don't be rude, please."

Alucards facial features are unreadable, but he sighs inward. "I'm a Vampiric Fallen. I originally was fallen, then I got bitten by a vampire."

Silent while she listens, Nova's wing beats sound in her ears. "I'm sorry to hear that. I would ask how it happened but I'll leave it alone."

Alucard nods, "How did you come to be? I mean dragons are four legged not, bi-ped... How?" He looks at her with a hidden interest. He dips slightly to the right, drifting closer together. He politely waits for a answer.

Well I really never knew my parents." She said quietly. "I was born in Europe. About 500 years ago." She looks at him impassive as she down strokes her wings.

Snowfire coughs a bit. "Could we not miss the mall, we are ere." she pointed down towards the huge building.

"Nova, would you like to go to the mall?" He asked kindly. "Everything is on me."
Watching the ground she nods, and folds her wings and dives down. "I bet I can beat you there!" Grinning as she descends.
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Savfantasy
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Join date : 2009-09-14
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PostSubject: Re: Alucard the Fallen   Alucard the Fallen Icon_minitimeMon Sep 21, 2009 9:11 am

I’m just going to type this as I go, so I hope it makes sense in the end.
First and foremost, watch out for changes in tense. You used past and present in the same paragraph.
Second, make sure that you only capitalize proper nouns. Words such as twenty, blood, and fangs need not be capitalized.
“What the fuck!” Staggering back the yells and pulls out a gun and fires off a clip. “What the fuck are you?!” . . . Okay. First of all, the sentence in between quotes is a run on. Also, you have no subject; who is staggering back? To help avoid this kind of mistake, make sure you read your piece aloud to yourself. This will often help writers to find problems and places that just don’t seem right. I know it can seem a little weird at first, I myself hate hearing my work read aloud, but it really does help.


Okay, I’m going to stop there. I’m noticing a lot of the same mistakes over and over, most of which I have already mentioned. I’d love to finish it, but I’m getting too distracted by little things. ^^;
I hope my critique helped a little. I would strongly suggest the reading aloud thing. Even pro writers do it to catch their errors. If you do that and edit, let me know and I will come back and read it again. Good luck, and keep writing! Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Alucard the Fallen   Alucard the Fallen Icon_minitimeMon Sep 28, 2009 2:56 am

Oh crap, dang ok I fixed that already I feel dumb at the moment I put the wrong one up lol. >.<

Thanks for telling me though ^.=.^
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PostSubject: Re: Alucard the Fallen   Alucard the Fallen Icon_minitime

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