Corrupt a Wish

Granted, but in his hurry he undercooks it making it poison-ness.

I wish that I could live in my sims game.

Granted, but I hack in and turn everyone else into my puppets and add murdering and torture to the game.

I wish we lived as our sim games but we where both the gods of ourselves.

Granted, but I also get them all as well making your achievement less of one.

I wish my internet was better.

Granted, but it crashes every few seconds.

I wish I could have my bass guitar. :C

Granted, you buy the Docs acoustic double bass.

I wish I did not have to get up so early for school.

Granted. You get up later, but the hours last longer and you have to go every day until graduation.

I wish that all the scholarships I apply for will be granted to me so I don't have to pay for college.

Granted. It is now the friday one day before the end of existence.

I wish I woke up better in the mornings.

Granted. Now all of your family will come and will never leave, and so you will live the rest of your life surrounded by then never able to get away.

I wish I was better at ignoring the comments of the dickheads in the world.

Granted. But now we are all hippies and are an easy target for aliens.

I wish my assignments were done.

Granted but they comit suicide before you can turn them in

I wish my fucking computer wouldn't keep comitting suicide on me, it only works in safemode now.

Granted, but they grow sick of you within a day.

I wish I could find my jump drive, functioning and with all of my files on it.

Granted, but also on it is a super-virus that destroys any computer you plug it into.

I wish that my program on my robot would work. The program is flawless and yet it doesn't work.

granted, but the robot has now been programmed to punch babies, as well as a glitch insures an endless loop

I wish my computer was upstairs again

Granted: But that is because the house has been swapped around and upstairs is now downstairs.

I wish I had remembered to tell you that the robot went in a endless loop anyway.

(Also if some robot hit any of my nieces or nephews I would rip it apart.)
(Italian rage!!!)

Granted, however you can only fly when covered in a light coating of whiskey or scotch . . . otherwise you weigh 2x as much as normal

I wish I was out of marching band

Granted, but only for a day and then endlessly playing in the marching band.

I wish that I don't rewrite my stories everytime.

Granted however they decide to make it so you can never write them

I wish I had more rootbeer