I sat there in my cell, not knowing just how many hours in the day had passed. Every day seems to be the same: sit, wait, do nothing, eat, sit, wait, do nothing, eat. I was losing my mind (more so than I already have, which is the reason I'm in this godforsaken place). Through the vents, I could hear the screams of another asylum inmate as the orderlies attempted to restrain him. Benny, in the cell next to mine, was a suicidal, paranoid schizophrenic who tried to kill himself, to no avail, daily. It was annoying more than disturbing having to hear the screams erupting from his room every single day of the year for the past sixteen years. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but no. I become infuriated every time I have to listen to the pleading cries of "leave me alone" and "just let me die". And I won't even go into how he talks to himself (or his other personality, "Jethro") at night. Benny and I were placed in the same wing of the asylum, designed for the schizoprenic denizens of this hell called Betrand Blackwell's Asylum for the Clinically Insane. Why am I here, you ask? The story is simple:
Sixteen years ago, there was an incident. I, under the spell of my other personality (who is unnamed), went out on a killing spree. There was no motive, nothing to gain and no vendettas to settle. I had simply just.........lost my mind. Well, as you can imagine, the boys in blue didn't seem to find this very acceptable. I pleaded to insanity (which I regret to this day) and was sent here. There is not enough time in the world to describe the torment and the anxiety I feel constantly while confined within these walls. It was a living nightmare and I could not wake up. I found myself bearing the same attitude as Benny, wishing death upon myself every single day. However, no matter how insane they proclaimed me or I proclaimed myself, I simply could not bring myself to bring harm to my own person. So I sat there in my cell, staring at the walls, listening to the sounds of madness that filled the halls of this place.
That night I lay awake on my bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. It became clear to me that if I stayed here any longer, I would lose all sense of life and meaning, just becoming a hollow, empty, soulless shell of myself. If I didn't see the outside world again, not being able to roam free, just caged up in here my whole life, I was going to fade away. I would possibly end up like Carl on Hallway B-3 for Depression patients, just staring, unable to feel much of anything, if anything at all. I knew what I had to do: I had to escape. And I had a plan.
There is a period between 5 o'clock P.M. and 6 o'clock P.M. every day in which the inmates are allowed to leave their cells; under strict supervision of course. My plan, was to use this period to round up a few inmates and start a riot. It would take much careful planning as to how to get around these inmates, and convince them to perform such an action (although that part shouldn't be so hard). While the chaos is unfolding, I shall sneak to the control room (because lockdown will undoubtedly be initiated) and release all of the doors. I shall then sneak out the front door (as an act of mockery) and be on my way. I would start tomorrow.
The day was here. I was mentally prepared for the task that lay ahead. It was only 2 o'clock, but I could wait. I'd been waiting for sixteen years. What's another 3 hours? I occupied my time by fidling with my toes, a hobby I seem to have picked up from lack of any other activity. I stared at the wall, waiting........
"Hey, you. Against the wall". The orderly had come to get me. It was time. I was going to be free. Walking along the hallway, I stared at the walls around me. Good-bye, tormenting walls, I thought. I started wondering what I would do after getting out of this place. Would I run to some foreign country and live out the rest of my life in solitude and relaxation, or would I explore the world? My options seemed so open.
I sat down at the table. A few other men had a puzzle prepared, which was halfway solved. I shimmied over to them, smiling all the while. "I have a proposition for you boys", I said smugly. They looked at me with interest. "I have been wondering about something for too long but never knew how to ask you. Have you ever wondered what life was like outside of these walls? Without the constant battery of orderlies, the unending supervision and surveillance, the awful meals delivered to you on a rusty tray?" They seemed intent on hearing me out. "What if I offered you an escape? All you have to do is start some trouble. You can do that, can't you?" The men stared at me for one very intense minute.
All of a sudden, the man next to him had reached and broken his neck, letting his body fall limp on the table. Perfect. This act of violence had aroused the attention of inmates and orderlies alike. The riot had begun. I sped off, down hallway B-4, to an elevator. I took it to the first floor, on hallway A-0. Stepping off the elevator, I looked around. Down the hallway and to the right was the control room. The alarm hadn't been pulled yet, so I still had some time. I ran, speeding unceasingly down the hallway. The alarm sounded, and I knew I had mere seconds to reach the control room. I increased my speed. The orderly operating the controls had thrown the switch, initiating lockdown. The heavy iron doors to the control room were closing slowly. I only had one shot: I dove through the heavy doors, barely making it through.
I stood there, facing the orderly. Physically, I was no match for any orderly. But I was more intelligent; crafty even. The man had a pen in his front shirt pocket. He lunged at me, and I side-stepped him. He hit his head on the door, and I seized my only opprotunity. Jumping on his back and screaming like a banshee, I knew I blacked out. My other personality was taking over, and I didn't know what was happening.
When I came to, I was standing over the body of the orderly with blood all over my hands and clothes. The pen was jutting out of the poor victim's neck, allowing him to bleed profusely until death. I looked around. There it was: the switch to the main entrance. I flipped it up, opening the metal seals around it. Straight ahead, there it was. Freedom. I had to get there.I took tentative steps to freedom. This was it. I was getting out of here.
Shck. I looked behind me. There was a man, retrieving a pen he had stuck in my neck. I didn't recognize the man, but he knew me. "Sorry, Gabe, but I'm going solo on this one". The dark haired man walked away, laughing maniacally all the way. "It was a pleasure working with you over the years. But this is good-bye". Still, I had no idea who he was. But as he walked out, leaving me to die, it dawned on me. Now, I had no desire to escape. I belonged here for what I'd done. My eyes closed slowly, and the horror of realization closed in on me, until I felt nothing.
Mon Apr 05, 2010 9:34 pm